D.H.P.C.C.G. - Marjorie Dursley

• Book 1. Ch2, Pgs 21-22. Ch3, Pg 30.
• Book 3. Ch2, Pgs 19-28. Ch3, Pg 33, 35, 38.

Summary: Muggle woman, breeds bulldogs, lives in the country. Hates Harry, gives Dudley a lot of presents/money. Inclined to drink a bit too much. Obsessed with breeding and bloodlines. Fond of corporal punishment. Mean. Is blown up by Harry accidentally in Book 3, but memory of event is erased.

Physical Description: “large, beefy and purple faced” woman, looks like Uncle Vernon. She has a slight moustache. Wears tweed. Firm grip.

Friends/Relatives: sister of Vernon Dursley and therefore Dudley’s aunt. Harry has to call her “Aunt” although she is not his own aunt. Friends with Colonel Fubster, owns 12 dogs.

Important Events:

• Book 1, Ch3, Pg30 - Three things lay on the doormat: a postcard from Uncle Vernon's sister Marge, who was holidaying on the Isle of Wight... "Marge's ill," he (Vernon) informed Aunt Petunia. "Ate a funny whelk..."

• Book 3, Ch2, Pg19-20 - "Aunt Marge?" he (Harry) blurted out. "Sh-she's not coming here, is she?"
  Aunt Marge was Uncle Vernon's sister. Even though she was not a blood relative of Harry's, he had been forced to call her 'Aunt' all his life. Aunt Marge lived in the country, in a house with a large garden, where she bred bulldogs. She didn't often stay in Privet Drive, because she couldn't bear to leave her precious dogs, but each of her visits stood out horribly vividly in Harry's mind.
  At Dudley’s 5th birthday party, Aunt Marge had whacked Harry around the shins with her walking stick to stop him beating Dudley at musical statues. A few years later, she had turned up at Christmas with a computerised robot for Dudley and a box of dog biscuits for Harry. On her last visit, the year before Harry had started at Hogwarts, Harry had accidentally trodden on the paw of her favourite dog. Ripper had chased Harry out into the garden and up a tree, and Aunt Marge had refused to call him off until past midnight... "Marge'll be here for a week," Uncle Vernon snarled... "as Marge doesn't know anything about your abnormality... we've told Marge you attend St Brutus's Secure Centre for Incurably Criminal Boys."

• Book 3, Ch2, Pg22-23 - On the threshold stood Aunt Marge. She was very like Uncle Vernon; large, beefy and purple-faced, she even had a moustache, though not as bushy as his. In one hand she held an enormous suitcase, and tucked under the other was an old and evil-tempered bulldog.
  "Where's my Dudders?" roared Aunt Marge. "Where's my neffy poo?" ...
  Harry knew ... Dudley only put up with Aunt Marge's hugs because he was well paid for it, and sure enough, when they broke apart, Dudley had a crisp 20 pound note... "Petunia!" shouted Aunt Marge, striding past Harry as though he was a hat- stand. Aunt Marge and Aunt Petunia kissed, or rather, Aunt Marge bumped her large jaw against Aunt Petunia's bony cheekbone.
  "Tea, Marge?" Vernon said. "And what will Ripper take?"
  "Ripper can have some tea out of my saucer," said Aunt Marge.
  
• Pg 23. Colonel Fubster is looking after Marge's dogs. Ripper pines if he's away from her.
• Pg 23-24. "So!" she barked (to Harry). "Still here, are you?"
  "Yes," said Harry.
  "Don't you say 'yes' in that ungrateful tone," Aunt Mrage growled. "It's damn good of Vernon and Petunia to keep you. Wouldn't have done it myself. You’d have gone straight to an orphanage if you had been dumped on my doorstep."
  ...(Harry) forced his face into a painful smile.
  "Don't you smirk at me!" boomed Aunt Marge. "I can see you haven't improved since I last saw you. I hoped school would knock some manners into you... Do they use the cane at St Brutus's, boy?" she barked across the table.
  "Yes," said Harry. "All the time"
  "Excellent, I won't have this namby-pamby, wishy-washy nonsense about not hitting people who deserve it. A good thrashing is what's needed in 99 cases out of a 100. Have you been beaten often?"
  "Oh, yeah," said Harry. "Loads of times."
  Aunt Marge narrowed her eyes. "I still don't like your tone, boy. If you can speak of your beatings in that casual way, they clearly aren't hitting you hard enough. Petunia, I'd write if I were you. Make it clear that you approve of extreme force in this boy's case."

• Pg 24 - Marge wanted Harry under her eye at all times, so that she could boom out suggestions for his improvement. She delighted in comparing Harry to Dudley, and took great pleasure in buying Dudley expensive presents while glaring at Harry, as though daring him to ask why he hadn't got a present too. She also kept throwing out dark hints about what made Harry such an unsatisfactory person.
  "You mustn't blame yourself for the way the boy's turned out, Vernon," she said over lunch on the 3rd day. "If there's something rotten on the inside, there's nothing anyone can do about it." Aunt Marge reached for her glass of wine. "It's one of the basic rules of breeding. You see it all the time with dogs. If there's something wrong with the bitch, there'll be something wrong with the pup - "
  At that moment, the wine glass Aunt Marge was holding exploded in her hand. Aunt Marge spluttered and blinked, her great ruddy face dripping.
  "Not to worry," she grunted, mopping her face with her napkin. "Must have squeezed it too hard. Did the same thing at Colonel Fubster's the other day. No need to fuss Petunia, I have a very firm grip..."
• Pg 25 - Aunt Marge stated voicing the opinion that (Harry) was mentally subnormal due to the glazed look he got trying to ignore her.

• Pgs 25-27 - End of dinner on her final night, Vernon offers her brandy. Aunt Marge had already had rather a lot of wine. Her huge face was very red. "Just a small one, then," she chuckled. "A bit more than that... and a bit more... that's the boy."
  "Aah," she said, smacking her lips and putting the empty brandy glass down. "Excellent nosh, Petunia. It's normally just a fry-up for me of an evening, with 12 dogs to look after..." She burped richly and patted her great tweed stomach. "Pardon me. But I do like to see a healthy-sized boy," she went on, winking at Dudley. "You'll be a proper sized man, Dudders, like your father. Yes, I'll have a spot more brandy, Vernon... Now, this one here..." She jerked her head at Harry... "This one's got a mean, runty look about him. You get that with dogs. I had Colonel Fubster drown one last year. Ratty little thing it was. Weak. Underbred... It all comes down to blood, as I was saying the other day. Bad blood will out. Now, I'm saying nothing about your family, Petunia, but your sister was a bad egg. They turn up in the best of families. Then she ran off with a wastrel and here's the result right in front of us." ... "This Potter," said Aunt Marge loudly, seizing the brandy and splashing more into her glass and over the tablecloth, "You never told me what he did?"
  "He - didn't work," said Vernon... "Unemployed."
  "As I expected!" said Marge, taking a huge swig of brandy and wiping her chin on her sleeve. "A no-account, good-for-nothing, lazy scrounger who - "
  "He was not!" said Harry suddenly. Vernon tried to send him to bed.
  "No, Vernon," hiccoughed Marge, holding up a hand, her tiny bloodshot eyes fixed on Harry's. "Go on, boy, go on. Proud of your parents, are you? They go and get themselves killed in a car crash (drunk I expect) - "
  "They didn't die in a car crash!" said Harry...
  "They died in a car crash, you nasty little liar, and left you to be a burden on their decent, hardworking relatives!" screamed Marge, swelling with fury. "you are an insolent, ungrateful little - "
  ...her great red face started to expand, her tiny eyes bulged and her mouth stretched too tightly for speech... she was inflating like a monstrous balloon...

• Pg 38 - Fudge says, "You will be pleased to hear that we have dealt with the unfortunate blowing-up of Miss Marjorie Dursley. Two members of the Accidental Magic Reversal Department were dispatched to Privet Drive a few hours ago. Miss Dursley has been punctured and her memory has been modified. She has no recollection of the incident at all..."