***********************************************************************
The following is a work of Fanfic. Most of the characters involved 
belong to Marvel. Some others belong to the X-Writers. X-Writers is a 
non-profit, non-paid group.  So please don't sue us. We haven't got any 
money anyway. Indeed, Sue me, and this week you win my summer tuition 
bill. So as a warning this comic contains love, television, some bad 
jokes, the occasional violent act, bad traffic, and stolen towels.  
Please do not try any of this at home. I won't be responsible for the 
results. And never, ever, no matter how nice they seem, trust what 
an External tells you. Trust me on this one.
***********************************************************************

X-Force #53
Writer: Elizabeth Celeste
Editor: Marysia

     Three years ago Julio Esteban Richtor was desperately in love 
with Tabitha Smith. Head over heels, ammo dump in a wildfire, teen angst 
be damned love. Well, lust at least. Not that it had mattered, because 
Tabitha had resolutely ignored his every advance, every action, every 
stare of utterly pathetic puppy dog eyes. And then suddenly, from the 
relative peace of X-Factor and boarding school, they were thrust into the 
Inferno that was New York City, joined to the New Mutants, betrayed by 
Magneto, returned to X-Factor, taken to Asgard, and adopted by Cable. All 
of this with out a breather, a vacation, or even much of a chance to do 
laundry.
     Some where in between the Inferno and Asgard, Tabitha had fallen 
in love with Sam Guthrie, the blond, immortal, leader of the New 
Mutants/X-Force combo. And somewhere between Asgard and Earth, Julio 
Esteban Richtor had fallen out of love with Tabitha Smith.
     
     He rebounded fast, latching onto Rahne Sinclair. Two emotionally 
vulnerable kids, neither of whom quite agreed with Cable or his 
philosophy. When the mess went down in Genosha, looking for Rahne was all 
the excuse Ric had needed to escape. And he _had_ looked for her. The 
thing that was rarely discussed was that he had found her. The Genoshan 
Mutate process was not kind to Rahne. The physical changes were less of a 
problem then the mental, as she was stuck in her transitional form lest 
she revert to the mindless zombie known only as Number 490. For Ric the 
next few months in Genosha were a blur, with flashes of clarity 
interspersed among the fog.

     All Rictor truly got out of the experience was a small tattoo, a 
fear of large dogs, and a free trip to Canada. The tattoo was small, of 
what seemed to be the Latverian Flag. Fortunately it was located in such 
a place as to not be the topic of casual conversation. Toronto was 
apparently the result of deportation. Seems a bored American pilot had 
decide to dump the illegal Mexican on the Canadian border. Only several 
thousand miles off course. As for the fear of large dogs, Julio Esteban 
Richtor knew exactly where that came from- and he had pangs of sympathy 
for Alex Summers ever after. Ric hoped that serious drugs were involved 
somewhere in Genosha. Otherwise he was in more trouble then he thought.

     Not that the experience had wholly diminished his feelings for 
Tabitha- the occasional burst of protectiveness and pang of jealousy 
still occurred. But it was different. Ric was happy sticking Tab in the 
role of "sister". It didn't always make her and Sam sucking face in 
public easier to take. Sometimes, Julio Esteban Richtor was profoundly 
thankful that he _wasn't_ the one who had acquired the heart of Tabitha 
Smith.  Take today for example. Ric was quite happy not to be a certain 
Mr. Guthrie.

     They were due at the airport in a half an hour, stuck in the 
gridlock that defined Los Angeles traffic, with no chance in hell of 
making it to LAX in time. So Ric, bored in the drivers seat of the 
monstrosity that was the X-Force van, had plenty of time to stare at the 
billboards advertising the various model/actress/bimbo types of the area. 
One was vaguely familiar of a half-dressed, possibly underage model 
calling herself "Rhodesia". She looked kinda like that horrible friend of 
Tabitha's. The one from New York, who had kept putting her hands down 
Gambit's pants. But since she was in New York, and definitely not named 
"Rhodesia" there was simply no way it could be her. Ric contemplated 
pointing the billboard out to Tabitha and Shatterstar, who were both 
feigning unconsciousness in the back seat. But they were engaged in a 
conversation on the merits of deep conditioning treatments, and the 
importance of the proper brand of mousse. Ric had never met anyone more 
obsessed with hair care products then the two of them.

     But by the time they finished on the proper treatment of dry, 
colour treated hair, the moment had passed. The billboard was left behind 
in a wave of smog so thick it could be cut with a knife and carried home. 
So Ric continued piloting the monstrosity on the freeway, complaining 
under his breath, "It's not _my_ fault we had to buy it."

*************
(Flashback)- Almost a Month

     Rhonda arrived at Los Angeles International Airport on the 
non-stop from LaGuardia. Tabitha and X-Force had promised to meet her at 
the airport. A promise Rhonda desperately hoped they had forgotten.  
Walking out of the plane she did a quick and through scan of the area. 
Fortunately X-Force was nowhere in sight. They either hadn't arrived, or 
had forgotten her very existence.

      Rhonda hoped the latter. It wasn't that she didn't like her old 
friend Tabitha. Tabitha was and always would be a sister to her.  It was 
just that the people Tabitha lived with were really _strange_. And 
besides Rhonda didn't want to hear third hand recounts of her ill advised 
"night of passion" with that horrid idiot who thought he could speak 
French. What was his name? Gumbo? Gangrene? Garfield? Anyway it hadn't 
even been a night. Barely topped 20 uncomfortable minutes in a linen 
closet. But still an embarrassing piece of bad judgement on Rhonda's 
part. Though she did get some very nice towels out of the deal.

     So Rhonda snuck out of LAX, gathered her luggage, filled with 
towels embroidered "Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters", a few decks 
of marked cards- courtesy of the fake Frenchman. Why the guy had a zippo 
inscribed, "To my beloved Remy, Your's forever, Candra" in a tacky 
cursive script was beyond Rhonda. Not that it mattered, because Rhonda 
had relieved him of it, in an act of mercy. A zippo is a zippo.

     One of the taxi's out front was empty, so Rhonda scurried in. 
Roman had always offered her a place and a job in Los Angeles, if she was 
willing to move. So to her new life Rhonda headed, secured in the 
knowledge that Roman Nekobah was good on his word.

***********
     
     In another part of Tinsletown from the airport, Theresa was 
leading Team A into the world of movie making. Dressed in jeans, t-shirts 
and two image inducers, Terry, Jimmy, Bobby and Caliban were working 
their way through the third studio stage of the day. They knew that the 
man Val Cooper believed was a Jamie Madrox was working as a stunt double 
for Kevin Bacon. And they knew that _AugaMundo_, Bacon's action/adventure
/comedy/romance about what happens when the polar icecaps melt was filming 
at the Mayfair Studios. But Val didn't know where in the sprawling complex 
the stunts were being shot. So Team A was forced to fend for themselves.

     They tried using Caliban to track down Jamie. How many mutants 
could there be on the set?  After 10 minutes that idea was killed. 
Mutants were as plentiful in the movie business as Spandex clad types in 
New York City. With out previous contact with Jamie to make the tracking 
easier, Caliban had nothing to work with to distinguish the dupe from the 
rest of the horde. 

     So they travelled across sound stages, pretending to be stunt 
people lost on their way to _AugaMundo_. Nobody questioned them - all 
they got were some winks, nods, and points int all directions.  
Eventually by process of elimination the set was located. The intrepid 
foursome snuck in and went on a hunt for Jamie Madrox.

*****

     As luck would have it, at least the kind of luck that was affecting 
X-Force lately, Sam factored the time change wrong. Arriving an hour late 
in an overloaded, wheezing Blackbird. The plane was stuffed to the gills 
with boxes, bags, stray bits of expensive machinery, and most important 
of all- the furniture. Everything had big stickers labelled "XFORCE" 
covering it. No need to worry about what was supposed to make the trip. 
At least, from X-Force's perspective.

     Sam walked don the stairs, finding his greeting party of 
Shatterstar, Rictor, and most importantly Tabitha, all waiting on the 
Tarmac. Not that visitors were allowed onto the runway. LAX had 
strict rules about that sort of thing. But after 'Star held a short 
conversation with the security guard, in a language that sounded 
suspiciously like Albanian, they had been allowed to drive the ever 
uglier van on the runway. 

     Tabitha had gotten sullen as the van hurtled toward's the 
Blackbirds assigned parking space. After all of the time away from Sam, 
the longest that they had been apart since they first met, a reunion 
promised to be a nervous affair. Especially since Tabitha had broken up 
with him, not long after their arrival in Westchester. Not that it was 
the first time that Tabitha and Sam had broken up, but that time Tabitha 
had _almost_ meant some of the things she had said about him and his 
inbred family. _Almost_. And then there was the whole baby thing. At this 
point it wasn't exactly going to go away, and was kinda noticeable, if 
you were looking for it. It simply wasn't going to be possible to hid the 
kid much longer. So Tabitha Smith decided to handle the situation her way. 
Directly.

*****************
(On the Set of AugaMundo)

     "Excuse me, we're looking for Mr.Bacon. Do you know where he 
might be?" James Proudstar, despite his enhanced senses and physique was 
having a very difficult time locating Jamie Madrox. Of the millions of 
people on the set, only one seemed to recognize the name Madrox. And the 
response was "That Madrox boy- one of the greats of Canadian Hockey, 
Eh?". So it seemed simpler to ask fro Kevin Bacon, who at least had name 
recognition, and work from there. Finally, after hours of searching they 
found him. Not Kevin Bacon, but Jamie Madrox. Standing on the edge of the 
fake boat in the swimming pool that was substituting for the oceans of 
_AugaMundo_, was Jamie Madrox. Sure, the hair was lighter now, and the 
resemblance to Kevin Bacon was remarkable. But as Jamie jumped off the 
exploding boat, and into the oceanic depths (or four foot deep kiddy 
pool- depending upon the perspective), any doubt as to his identity was 
gone. Because the man was not only a mutant, but doing the stunts. All 
afternoon he jumped into the pool, as the real Kevin Bacon stood on the 
sidelines, sipping a coke, and occasionally talking to the director.

     X-Force, Mission Madrox was about to begin. Theresa, as the one 
who knew Jamie best was given the task of being the one to positively ID 
Jamie. After all she had certainly known him well enough to tell. Knowing 
people well enough was causing problems. She and Jimmy weren't talking 
about last night's "expression of sympathy". Not that they had time to, 
but it was making the afternoons adventure very touchy indeed. 
Conversation wise anyway.

     Bobby and Caliban confirmed the diagnosis. They had found Madrox.  
"He looks just like he did back with the Fallen Angels. Even the same 
haircut". Roberto DaCosta's memories and personality had been a bit off 
kilter since his trip to the future, and the whole Reignfire incident. 
But even if he wasn't talking like himself, it was good to see he finally 
remembered something useful. 
     "Caliban say BaconStunt is a mutant". Of course since most of the 
actors, two thirds of the staff, and the director were all mutants, the 
discovery that Jamie Madrox, the Multiple Man, was a mutant was a bit of 
an anti-climax. But his identity assured, Mission Madrox sat down and 
waited for the end of the scene.


****************

     Sam walked out of the plane onto the tarmac of LAX not sure of 
the response that his arrival would produce, or even who would meet him. 
He had called ahead, stated that he was coming with the stuff, and gotten 
a tepid response from the guy who used to be his best friend. 'Berto just 
wasn't Berto any more. But, Sam hoped the message had been conveyed, and 
that somebody on his old team would come to greet him.

     Sam needn't have worried. Despite all instincts, honed by hours 
in the Danger Room and years of training and combat experience, he was 
blind sided. Suddenly enveloped in 140 pounds of Tabitha Smith. An 
enthusiastic Tabitha. One who seemed intent on making up for lost time. 
And attempting to demonstrate the _other_ reason she had acquired the 
code name "Boomer". Faced with such an Onslaught, Sam was given no choice 
but to give in. And so he let himself be assimilated in her welcoming 
kiss. Much to the disgust of the pair of onlookers. 

     "Not again! Set the watch 'Star. I suspect that they are going  
for a new record. Can't they remember that they had a huge fight and 
broke up? " Rictor was peeved. Not so much at Sam and Tabitha in liplock- 
if that bothered him, he would have been forced to leave X-Force a long 
time ago, but because it meant that he and 'Star were going to be stuck 
trying to unload the plane. 
     
     "The fight was not as big as the one after the Phalanx. Or the 
one when we were in Space. Or when she had the broken jaw. I do not think 
this will be a record." Leave it to Shatterstar to be literal. But then, 
for some reason, he always seemed to win in the betting pool, so maybe 
there was something going on there. 

     "I forgot the one in space. How many of these things are there?" 
Ric was lifting one of the dozens of identical cardboard storage boxes 
from the Blackbird. With X-Force inscribed in big block letters, over any 
previous lettering, it was clear who the box now belonged to. Which was 
too bad, because all parties involved might have been interested in 
knowing some of the original ownerships of the containers.  
     When X-Force announced it's intentions to leave the mansion, and 
head for California, Professor Xavier had told them to take what they 
wanted from the storage rooms in the basement. The Professor was 
referring to the things belonging to Tabitha, and Roberto and Sam, as 
well as the others, that had been their since their days as New Mutants. 
X-Force took that to mean that they could take what they wanted from the 
storage areas. And they did. To their credit, most of the stuff was down 
there for a reason. And it was highly doubtful that Longshot was going to 
return looking for his collection of shiny objects, or Magneto for the 
case of stationary labelled "Michael Xavier: Headmaster". So, amongst the 
rubble, X-Force had found some gems. They just didn't know it yet. 
Tabitha for example would have been quite interested, had she known who 
the M.P. stood for on the box of clothes she had swiped. Or Colossus, 
who had a box containing every poem and sketch he'd done of Kitty Pryde, 
thrown in the plane by accident. Actually, considering the contents, it 
would probably be Kitty who would be upset. But Rictor and Shatterstar, 
loading the Evil Minivan of Doom, didn't know any of this, and it would 
lead to all the more fun in the future.


*****************************

     Team A, on Mission Madrox, returned to the duplex first. Complete 
with squirming hostage. Jamie didn't want to come with them. Jamie didn't 
want to talk to Val Cooper. He didn't even know who they were. Theresa 
felt a little insulted. Forgetting the rest of the team she could 
understand. But forgetting her?  So despite his protestations, they had 
knocked Jamie out, and carried him out of the studio. It would be far 
easier to grill him at home, where a 1000 and 1 people were not watching. 

     Of course, once they arrived home, the situation didn't get any 
better. Tied to a chair to prevent his escape, Jamie got very upset. Kept 
trying to leave. Refusing to dupe himself.

     "I don't know who you people are, but I am NOT Jamie Madrox. I'm 
Kevin Bacon. I'm not a mutant. I don't do any of the things you claim I 
did. And I don't know why you don't get it through your heads.". After an 
hour of attempts to get him to talk, they were at a real loss. It was 
Jamie. Everything indicated it. He looked right, he was a mutant, he 
sounded right. But they just couldn't get him to Dupe.

     Val Cooper was not going to be a happy camper over this turn of 
events. Not a happy camper at all. But Jamie was ignored, as the rest of 
the team returned home. 

     "We got boxes. Lots of boxes. Anybody willin' ta help carry them 
in? Ah don't want to have to do it all by myself." Sam was in good cheer. 
And within reason. He was back with the people he cared about, back where 
he was considered a valued friend and teammate. And Tabitha seemed to 
have decided that they were back together while he was gone. It was, for 
lack of another expression, "A good day. Heck, he had even managed to 
escape being flown to Los Angles by one of the other X-Men, if only 
because there wasn't any one else around to do it.

     So the whole team, after a few greetings and cheers, began to 
carry the boxes and furniture from the van to the house. The sooner they 
got the couch unloaded, the sooner they had a couch to sit on.  And the 
sooner the clothes were unloaded, the sooner everybody had more stuff. 
And most importantly, somewhere buried in pieces amongst the stuff, was 
the big screen television. It was on the last load that the trouble 
occurred. Tabitha , half way through the front door, let out a yell of 
surprise. She dropped the box she was carrying, and stuck her hand to her 
stomach.

     "It moved. The baby Moved! The first....", her words dropped off 
as she realized that every single one of the six other X-Forcers and one 
X-Man in the room stared at her. 

"Baby? What baby?"
"Ah don't believe this"
"Caliban is confused. Where is the baby?"
"Why did that box contain so many socks?"

"Huh?" A mass roar of confusion broke the minor spell. Forgotten at 
Tabitha's feet, the box had broken open, revealing itself to be full of 
100's of unmatched socks. It was promptly ignored again. Much like Jamie 
was being ignored in the back room. 

     "Would it help if I said I was going to tell everybody tonight 
anyway?" Tabitha had a nervous grin stuck in place. "I couldn't exactly 
keep this a secret too much longer any way... besides, how would you guys 
have liked to find out.."  The clamour began there. And went on. And on. 
And on.

     Alone in the back room, Kevin Bacon was having a very bad day. He 
knew he shouldn't have agreed to do his own stunts this morning. "Here I 
am tied to a chair, kidnapped by a bunch of loonies, all of whom think I 
am a Canadian Hockey player. Can it get any worse?" He was talking to 
himself. His wife and the kids had to be worried.  But then things got 
worse.  Because Sam Guthrie was not the only new arrival for the day. The 
next door neighbours were back as well. And in through the open sliding 
glass door, a small sausage dog wandered into the mostly empty living 
room of the X-Force side of the duplex.

     "Good doggy. Chew those ropes free, come on", it began to sniff 
around at the rope tying Kevin bacon's leg to the chair. "I can make you 
bigger then Lassie. Come on, one chew..". But the dog ignored  the 
encouragement. Apparently Lassie it wasn't. But it did decide to pee all 
over Kevin Bacon's foot. Things had definitely gotten worse.

****************************************************************
Next Issue: Impending Parenthood? Putting back Kevin Bacon, and 
of course the people next door. Only in X Force 54.
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-- 
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 Keeper of the  |  ftp://ftp."   http://gwis2.circ.gwu.edu/~hawk/fanfic.html
Labyrinth Flame | "Without me his world would go on turning. A world that's
  Holy Virgin   |  full of happiness that I have never known. I love him.
  of Scotland   |   But only on my own."      Eponine, Les Miserables.